Yesterday Chris and I made a new goal to write in our journals EVERY night. That's quite a change for me, so we'll see how it goes ;)
I'm not gonna write so much about what happened today, but more what's happened over the past few days.
Valentine's day was a lot of fun! Chris watched Mae in the afternoon so that I could go to a "Love Yourself" event that Camille was putting on for her new company "Flourish Wellness." We learned a lot about taking care of ourselves in the areas of nutrition, exercise, meditation, massage, yoga etc. Camille is such an awesome example to me of following after something that she is passionate about! And she was kind enough to give me the opportunity to talk a little about exercise--something I'm passionate about.
That night while Mae slept (a neighbor was watching a monitor for us) we went country dancing! It's been a long time since we've gone. Partly, I think that is due to the fact that the last time we went together I was so frustrated with him and how he just didn't know what he was doing...or he thought he knew and it was NOT the type of country dance that I was used to. So he ended up feeling picked at and I just didn't feel like it was fun at all. WELL, we've both come a ways since then. I've learned to be a little more understanding and build him up rather than tear him down. And he took some country dance classes to learn the moves better. So needless to say, I think this time it went 10x better! We had such a fun time even though neither of us could remember much of the moves we knew. We tried a few new moves they showed us and then just enjoyed being together :) What a great Valentine's day with the love of my life.
My two Valentines
(and yes, those are bacon roses)
Speaking of which...There are a lot of things that I admire about Chris. One of those things is his relationship with his siblings, especially Dustin. Dustin calls him quite frequently and almost always the topic of conversation is dating and girls. Sunday (2/15) was one of those days. Dustin has been pursuing a particular girl that finally just told him that it wasn't going to work between them. The poor boy. I won't go into the details of their conversation (afterall, I really only heard one side of it), but I just want to say that there was a moment when Chris was giving Dustin advice that I just saw this side of him that was SO AMAZING. What great love and concern he has for his brother! He says what needs to be said, but then he also builds him up and lets him know how great he is. I don't think Chris thinks a lot about these conversations he has with Dustin. Probably because he feels like he kinda gets after Dustin a lot of the time. And I don't know if Dustin absolutely loves them either, but I know he MUST appreciate them. And he MUST feel the love that Chris has for him. It just did my heart good to see my husband in such a way. <3
Yesterday, was president's day so Chris was able to stay home and help around the house (even though he had a lot of homework to do). I went through a few things as well and as I was sorting through our closet I came across my old journal from 2012. Every once in a while I like to sit down with an old journal and read through it. I love "listening" to myself and learning from my old self. This particular journal is a very interesting one because the first entry is from the night I got engaged to another guy (Feb 2012) then at the end I am pregnant with Mae (Dec 2013). I read through the first few pages. Remembering the feelings of heartache and loss when my engagement was ended. I read some of my entries and was astounded by the strength and courage I was given at that time. It really was not an easy thing for me, but I had my testimony strengthened and my faith grew SO MUCH!
At one point I wrote that I knew that the Lord had a better plan for me. I didn't know what it was, but I had faith that I was being directed elsewhere for a reason.
Skip a to about 3/4 of the way through the journal and I came across some entries (Jan/Feb 2013) about Chris. I had already told him that I loved him and I think he had already told me, but we hadn't decided to get married yet. I talked about how I had told him that I needed him to decide on where we were going, if he really wanted to marry me. Just even talking about marriage again brought back those hurtful memories for me. But I was trying to be patient with him because I didn't want him to rush into anything or make a decision that he would turn back from. At the end of this particular entry I said something to the effect: I want to be Chris' strength and support. I want to help him succeed. But I need his commitment to me. Once I have that commitment, I will do all I can to make things work between us.
WOW!
Chris came in from cleaning the cars at this point and I looked at him with a glimmer of a tear in my eye and had him read what I had written 2 years ago. He was flattered and we embraced, telling each other how much we loved the other and how grateful we are for the way things have turned out.
And I am. I am SO VERY GRATEFUL! Chris is my match in every way, he fits me and compliments me in so many ways! I still don't know why things didn't work out with that other guy, but I really don't care. I have the BEST husband ever and I wouldn't trade him for anyone in the world!
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