The Kennard Helpers

8/17/16

Today marks one day after Kay's original due date. And she's already 2 1/2 weeks old! Pretty crazy how time is flying by so quickly!

(Kay basking in the sun while Mae swam with Grma, Caitlin and the girls at the Bradford's pool today)

A week ago on the 9th Caitlin came home from her mission in Russia and the next day, she and Mom headed down here and got here at about 9pm. They have been here ever since and will be leaving on Saturday. They have been a HUGE help to me and awesome lifesavers. I wasn't sure what kind of RM Caitlin would be, but for the most part it feels to me like she never even left! She's very much the same Caitlin. (I had to chuckle a little today when I saw her with a list of things her companions had told her about--YouTube videos she's missed, popular songs...etc. That was the last thing on my mind when I came home! We are very different people). She's spent a lot of time on the computer, but has also been great at entertaining Mae and helping lift her in and out of her high chair. 

Mom had been a great help with getting Mae out of bed in the morning and making breakfast. She also just can't help herself from organizing my house. Lol. For the most part it's been really helpful. It just makes me a little nervous at times that she might put something away and I won't find it. Or she'll toss something that I didn't want her to. But so far my house is staying quite tidy and meals are taken care of each day, so that's good! 

Last weekend we went to Alissa's and got to spend some time with her family as well as Aunt Chris. She had been watching the girls while Steve and Alissa were out of town. I think it was most fun for my mom to see her sister and fun for us to hear a few stories about them growing up. (Like the time my mom was just a toddler and was having a fit about something and was hitting her head on the ground. Chris was so concerned about her baby sister, but her mom just told her to leave her be and she'd stop. She still tried to help her feel better any way. She also said she's never had an argument with my mom. I'm not super surprised by that, though. My mom is a pretty chill/passive personality.)

On Monday we went to a splash pad. Mom and Caitlin got to experience Mae's timid nature firsthand. I don't think they were expecting her to be so shy of all the water spouts and dumping buckets, but I think they still had a fun time with her. 

Tonight, Chris and I finally got to go out! We went to Denny's and then to Golfland to play mini golf. The food was great and the game was fun. I pretty much annihilated him! 51 to 74. But we both got a good laugh out of it and just loved spending the time together. (The course was pretty cool too. We even had a couple of little froggy friends along the way!) I sure love that awesome husband of mine!

Life with two kids?

8/9/16

Today would have been the day. My baby is now over a week old and today would have been the day we were planning on a c section. That's so crazy! And we still have a week to go before my actual due date. 

A week has gone by and we are doing pretty well. Anna is still here and is still such a huge help to me. She's been cooking and freezing dinners for me like crazy and been the main one to make sure Mae has been getting the attention and care that she needs. I realized today that I'm really gonna have a big adjustment in a couple weeks when both she and my mom have gone back home. I really hope I'm able to take care of my girls like I need to. 

Kay has been getting better at nursing. The past day or so I've been using a nipple shield because her latch was just too painful and it's helped out a lot! She doesn't get as exhausted by trying to latch and I don't suffer the pain! 

We're still watching the Olympics, which had been fun, but also a little unhealthy for us, seeing as we stay up past 11 or 12 each night. It's just so addictive to watch! And they have all the best competitions showing after 6pm til about 11. Tonight we watched Micheal Phelps take the gold in the 200m breaststroke as well as the USA 4x200m freestyle relay. The women's gymnastics (the Final Five) also rocked it and took the gold in the combined team events. 

Tonight I was also able to sneak a peek at my little sister coming home from Russia. Caitlin came home from her mission and I was sad I wasn't there to see her, so I did the next best thing and FaceTimed my mom so I could be part of the excitement. (Although...my mistake, I called my moms phone and so when Caitlin showed up I didn't really see much of her coming down the hall and hugging my mom...instead, I just saw blurry moving around phone and a nice shot of my moms shirt. Lol)

But she's home and she looks so happy and good. I'm just so excited that she'll be coming down here to visit soon! Yay!

Week one with Kay

8/7/16

She's a week old and I can barely believe it! Time has just flown by! We came home from the hospital Wednesday morning and I'm glad we had taken that extra day. For a little while I kinda felt like a couple of the nurses were expecting us to go home on Tuesday. But I'm glad we got another counsel with the lactation consultant as well as just getting a little more rest and recovery. 

*coming home from hospital*

We came home that morning and had a bit of a tiring day. It was such a huge relief to have someone bring us dinner that night. And it was soooo delicious too! It was a fettuccine with really yummy white cheese with bacon, chicken and broccoli. Even the garlic bread was delicious. Not sure what it was but it looked like paprika or something. 

We had dinners brought Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Anna came Wednesday night and has been such a great help! I still don't feel completely comfortable with her. Mostly because I just don't know her very well still. (She seems to be very happy on the outside to me...and I'm not sure how she really feels about things.) Most of all she's been really great at taking care of Mae. I can't get her out of and into her bed and high chair. So she's been doing the "heavy lifting" for me. As well as just getting her breakfast in the morning and entertaining her in the afternoon so I can squeeze in a nap. She's also started making dinners for us and had made double for triple so that we can freeze some and have it for later. What a blessing!!

We also had some visitors Friday and Saturday! David and Jocie came down Friday night and we chatted and watched the olympics. It was really fun to have them, but I should have been a little more wise and gone to bed earlier. This whole waking up every few hours is really starting to wear me out. Kay is doing a little bit better at breastfeeding, but her latch is still not 100% on. So it's been hurting and sometimes takes me a while to get her to latch. It's been a very different experience from Mae. (She latched so easily I could just nurse her lying down and then she'd stay asleep after I put her in her crib.) Kay is starting to sleep a little better in the crib, but about half the night I'm still cosleeping with her because I'm just too tired to try and put her down, get up, bounce her to sleep again, put her down again...etc. 

But anyway, David and Jocie were great and even made us a breakfast casserole in the morning and cobbler Saturday night. We watched the Olympics most of Saturday day and Jocie and I tried to do some newborn pics of Kay. But she was pretty fussy and I was pretty exhausted after all was said and done. Hopefully we at least got a couple of good ones when we had her swaddled and comfy. 

I think it was also really good for David and Jocie to be able to see a little bit of the newborn life. Lol. They had some good questions about her birth and the c section. Their baby boy is due in about a month so they've got this path not too far ahead in their future. :) I really love Jocie and feel like she and I really get along really well. We have quite a bit in common and even though she's quite a bit younger than me, most of the time I don't feel much of an age gap. So glad David married someone I like! (Now if we can just get Dustin and Koster to do the same!)

Dustin and Verl came down and Saturday and just stayed for the day and left that night. It was good to have a couple more people meet Kay. And good that there weren't any awkward moments with Dustin (sometimes I just feel like he doesn't get women at all and can sometimes ask or do some awkward stuff. Hopefully that changes once he gets married!)

Oh, and we also had a visit from Devin and Melinda on Thursday. And had a good chat with them. And made them a little baby hungry, I think. Lol. 

Today I stayed home from church and got some pretty good rest in the morning. We watched a few church movies and Kay even slept in her crib for a few hours! Success!

So far I've been feeling pretty good physically. I've gone off Percocet (cuz it was clogging me up and not really helping all that much with the pain) and am just taking Ibuprofen. It seems to help quite a bit with the swelling and throbbing pain I've had in my abdomen. I'm trying not to do too much. And I think Anna thinks I do. But emotionally, I've got to do SOMETHING or I'll just go crazy! So I tidy here and there and do a bit of laundry and make the bed. That seems to help me feel a little better and not so useless like a bump on a log. Hopefully we can get out of the house once or twice this week to help me feel even better!

Also, Mae is still doing really well with Kay. She loves to point out when she's crying. "Baby Kay kwy-neen (crying)" She also loves to give her hugs and kisses every time she sees her. And so far, no squishing too hard that Kay hasn't tolerated...knock on wood! I think we're off to a good start with these two sisters!

She's here and she's beautiful!

8/2/16

Well, a lot has happened since I last wrote. Even though it's only been a couple of days it feels like an eternity! A LOT has happened. 

After staying in labor and delivery for a little longer. The nurse anesthetist and dr came in and talked to us. They told me about the pain meds and the procedure and how everything would play out. They gave me some nasty grape flavored stuff and then took me into the OR. I was pretty nervous and it was pretty chilly in there so I was shaking quite a bit. They gave me the spinal which numbed me pretty well from the ribs down, but thankfully also took away my shivers. It was a crazy feeling not being able to move my feet or really feel anything. The nurse joked that if I could wiggle my left foot he'd pay for the procedure. Lol. But no luck! No matter how hard my brain tried to tell my feet! 

It took a little while, after the spinal, to get started because of an emergency c section in the room next door. They stole almost all our staff! Apparently there was a mama going through labor and suddenly had a problem with her placenta rupturing or something of the sort. It was pretty crazy how fast they were able to deliver her baby though! 

So then they came back into our room and as I watched the reflection in the lights, they cut me open and got going pretty quick as well. I told Chris not to watch because he gets queezy pretty easily. And it was actually really nice because they let him be up by me for almost the whole thing. It was very comforting to have him there holding my hand. What a wonderful husband I have! 

And I think it was actually better for me to watch in a reflection rather than live because it was pretty graphic. But also really awesome! Especially when they started pulling little girl out! She was, as expected, feet first. And as they continued to pull her out they seemed to struggle a bit with one arm and her head. I asked the nurse later and she said it looked like she had her arm behind her head and that's what made it so hard to pull the last of her out. And it made me pretty grateful that we hadn't tried to get someone to do a breech delivery. If she was that difficult to get out of a simple incision, imagine how much harder it would have been on her trying to come out of the birth canal! It made me really think that this was the way this little girl was supposed to be born. It was the will of the Lord--He knew what would be best for her. 

After they took her out she was quiet for what seemed like forever. Then we finally heard her first little cry. And it made me cry--but crying out of joy. There's just something about that first cry that just calms all the fears and brings such joy to your heart. She's alive! All those months of waiting and wondering. She's here and she's safe and sound. 

They cleaned her off a bit and then they brought her over to us on the other side of the curtain. They put her right on my skin and we just soaked it in. What a beautiful and tiny little lady! 

She weighed in at an even 6 lbs and was 18 inches long. She was born at 9:06 am on the 31st of July. We didn't choose right then, but later in the day finally decided on her name: Katherine Candace McCleve. Born on her grandma Candy's 62nd birthday! (As well as her great grandpa Lester McCleve's birthday, I later found out)

I was loving holding her for a while and mostly feeling alright until they started putting me back together. Probably THE WORST thing I've ever had to go through...well, besides the hours of back labor with Mae. But still, I couldn't "feel" any of the pain, but I could feel them pushing and pulling and my stomach was not happy and I told the anesthetist and he gave me all sorts of things to get rid of the nausea. It took a while for it all to kick in. (He later told me he gave me everything but the kitchen sink to get rid of that nausea and dry heaving). Thankfully it eventually subsided, but in that time of struggle I had them take Katherine away and Chris went with her into the other room. 

They finished sewing me up and then took us all back to the labor and delivery room until they were able to get us a room in postpartum. The baby was able to try nursing a bit and did fairly well. It seems that she might've taken after her sister and has a bit of a tongue tie. That and she's just really small so I think that makes a difference in getting a good latch on the nipple. And in the past couple of days she's been improving so I'm hopeful she'll become a pro soon enough!

The time here in the hospital has been pretty good. The first day and a half or so I was hooked up to a bunch of things: IV, catheter, pulse ox and of course all the tags and wristbands that go with it. Not my favorite, but I'm glad I was well taken care of. 

The night of her birth Steve and Alissa and their girls came in with Mae (they had picked her up earlier in the day from our friends house). The girls were so curious about the baby and mostly about the room and my dinner. lol. And Mae was really good with little Kay. She wanted to climb up on the bed and play all around. We taught her to say baby Kay and baby sister and she's caught on pretty well! She wasn't too interested in the baby, but when she did take a look she was very soft and sweet. I think it's been good practicing with a baby doll at home the past few months. We even got her to give little Kay a sweet little kiss. ❤️

Steve and the girls left that night, but Alissa was actually scheduled to be working in the nursery. So she stopped by and talked for a little bit later in the night. And she also was the one who gave Kay her first sponge bath! It was nice to have a familiar face in the hospital. 

Since then it's just been a lot of checking in on us. There was one point where I felt like there were so many different people coming into our room that little Kay was hardly able to rest, much less her mama. And at the beginning we were actually having a hard time keeping her temperature where it needed to be. And I thought, just leave us alone! No wonder she's cold--you keep unwrapping her or taking her away from warm skin to skin with her mama! Ugh. Her glucose was also low the first time they measured, but we were able to knock it up pretty good after just a couple of feedings. That colostrum is good stuff!!

She's gone down in weight a bit (5lbs 7 oz) but they said it was only 7% and up to 10% is normal. We've been working on her nursing and even though it's still a little painful still the milk is starting to come in a bit and she's been able to latch a little bit better. So hopefully she keeps improving! The lactation consultant said it's pretty normal for early babies to struggle a little more with nursing at the beginning. (Kay was only 37 weeks and four days gestation). 

The first night was a little rough with sleeping. Kay is definitely a snuggler and loves to be held. Chris was a champion and held her a lot of the night so I could get some rest. The next night she did much better and both of us were able to get more sleep. Hooray! 

Chris has been AWESOME this whole time as well. He's been staying with me in the evening and through the night and then going and picking up Mae from the Bradfords, bringing her here to visit us and then going back and taking a nap with her at home. It's worked out really well! (And been an eye-opening experience for him--realizing how much of a full-time job it is to take care of Mae. Makes me feel pretty good when he has days like that. He just seems to love and appreciate me that much more. :) )

Overall I'm pretty content and happy. This new life is such a miracle and I thank God for the opportunity to be this sweetie's mama! I'm a little nervous about the recovery. My abdomen is starting to go down, but is still quite swollen and tender. And I'm super nervous about having my first bowel movement. Ah! Thankfully, Chris's mom is coming tomorrow night and then Mom and Caitlin will be coming next week. So I should have lots of help. I've also had many women in the ward offer help watching Mae or helping with the house. It's amazing the people that come out of the woodwork! Im so grateful to have such willing hands to help us. 

We are so blessed!!

Surprise!

7/31/16

Surprise! I'm back in the hospital and have been here for almost 8 hours already. My water broke at about 9pm yesterday. At first I thought it was just me losing a little control of my bladder, but then I just kept leaking like a faucet! So we decided to go in. 

Our neighbor and friend Alana Olsen was kind enough to come over and stay the night with Mae and is planning on taking her to church tomorrow. 

They did an ultrasound soon after we came in and despite our efforts of swimming and doing upside down handstands at the pool today, baby is still breech and doesn't seem to want to move. 

When they told me we'd then be doing a c section, I'll be honest, it was an emotional hit. These past few days I've tried to pray that the will of the Lord would be done. I've tried to listen to the suggestions and success stories of others who have flipped their babies. And it's been hard to deal with the feelings of guilt (why didn't I take better care of my body with this pregnancy? I should have been more concerned when she was transverse for so long...etc) and of helplessness (there's nothing I can do! There's no guarantee of all these things I'm trying!). 

I know I've said it before and I still feel that having a c section isn't the end of the world. But at this time I did kinda feel like it was the end to a few things. The end of having regular non-complicated pregnancies. The end of even thinking about having a "natural" birth. The end of a scar-free belly. And the end to getting back in shape quickly. 

Some may call this a little superficial. And it probably is. I'm trying to focus on the good and focus on the eternal perspective. 

First of all, who knows why this baby didn't move? Just because she didn't move doesn't mean it's my fault. She may very well know better than me and something may have gone wrong had she been born vaginally. 

I'm in good hands of professionals who have done this before. And what a blessing to know that a c section is even possible! I don't have to worry about the problems that we'd face if she came out the way she is. (Which seems to be hands and legs first)

I will recover! It may take a little longer, but I'll get there. I'll be able to lift and run and jump within a few months. And even be able to get pregnant again! (Not within a few months I hope). 

We have great friends and family who have volunteered to help as well as a good ward that provides meals and support. 

And lastly, the biggest blessing is that both Chris and I really felt like things happened in a way that showed to us that this was really God's will. We tried everything we could. And were willing to try more if we'd had the time! We did all we could and have trusted in Him. 

Sometimes He gives us hard things to go through. Not because they make sense, but because He wants us to come to Him, find peace and grow from the experience. 

Im excited to meet this little girl and thankful that she's doing so well and has developed properly and has a good heart and lungs and all that. 

Who knows, maybe this is just the beginning to a little lady born with a strong will and determination. Qualities that will help her to become the woman God needs her to be. And how lucky to be the one to guide her and help her as her mother on Earth. 

So here's to looking for the good and rejoicing in the blessings the Lord has given me!

The Stubborn Baby

7/28/16

Well, this baby girl is being a little stinker. For the past few weeks we have known that she was transverse, or lying sideways. The OB didn't seem too concerned about it and seemed to think that she would turn. But last Friday she did a vaginal exam for the first time and what she thought was the head at the cervix...was not. So, she did a quick ultrasound and discovered that baby's head is in the upper right side. Then yesterday she had them do a more thorough ultrasound and we found out that yes she is for sure breech--bum down. I'm at 37 weeks and was pretty sad to hear that since it's hard to get them to turn at this late in the game.

I had hoped that Chris would be able to go to that appointment yesterday, but he didn't and the OB ended up setting up an appointment at the hospital to do an external cephalic version TODAY. I agreed to it at the time because she seemed like she was really in a hurry to try it out. (And she has a way of convincing me to do things even though I'd really like to learn more first.) But when I came home and started talking to Chris and family and friends, I started feeling more nervous about it. They gave a lot of suggestions that could turn the baby without having the risks of the version. Of course there's always those witch dr type stuff, but there was also some exercises and chiropractic practices that I thought seemed sound. We looked up a lot of stuff and talked and prayed about it. I asked Chris to give me a blessing and a couple of the feelings I had were that 1) the Lord's will is what I should be asking for and 2) we need to make a decision and go with it. We both felt that we needed to present a decision to the Lord. So we decided we would go to the hospital and talk more with the OB to understand why she wanted to do a version so soon. (I wanted to try out a few more things before we went to the extent of a version.) We prayed about it and both of us felt good.

However, this morning before we went to the hospital we called in and talked with the OB. And to be honest, it was a pretty frustrating conversation for me. I feel like she doesn't really care about us and what we want. That she's only got one way of doing things and she's gonna say whatever she can to persuade us that it's the right choice. I think it was good for Chris to be in on this conversation because it helped him to see why I get so frustrated after appointments with her. I want her to give me my optionS, not just the option that she wants or that is fastest for her. I want her to educate me and help me to feel like I'm the one making the decision and she's just presenting the facts to help me.

Well, the conversation went something like this. I wanted to wait until Monday to do the version. She said I was dilated at a 2 (which I already knew) and didn't want to risk me going into labor over the weekend. (The chances of me going into labor at 37 weeks? I doubt are very high, especially with my history of a late pregnancy, but whatever.) Chris was concerned about the risks of the procedure. We had talked to friends that said it was very painful. She says, "Oh no, it's not painful to the baby." That's NOT what he was asking. She said her rate of success with this procedure is 80%. Online it said only about 58% of versions actually work in turning the baby. And my friends that had the procedure done were a testament of this statistic. She says that there's really no other way to get the baby to turn. Even though I've researched and talked to people and MANY have been able to get their baby to turn by other methods.

Basically, she just didn't want her schedule messed up. We had to make the decision right then and there (our appointment was about 20 minutes away...) So we decided to go with it. On the way to the hospital we both felt frustrated with the OB. But even through those feelings, I still felt good about having the procedure done. (I just had a greater desire to switch Drs lol)

We checked in at 7am and got all our paperwork done. We then were taken to the back where I was hooked up to some monitors and given an IV. The nurses were really nice and very informative; answering all our questions and such.  When the OB arrived, I tried not to be cold, but you could tell there was some tension there. And I think she tried to loosen it by saying emphatically, "I just LOVE doing versions. They are so fun!" OH GAG. So fake. And no, it didn't make me feel any better about the procedure.

She then did an ultrasound and the baby was still breech--head in the upper right side and bum down. They gave me a couple shots; one to relax the uterus and one for pain (which made me feel really weird--like my mouth and lips were getting bigger, not swollen, just bigger. And really dizzy too!). Then she lathered up my belly and started pushing. It was super uncomfortable, but not nearly as painful as I had imagined. After about 10 attempts she just threw her hands up and said baby's just not budging. I was pretty disappointed and almost felt like saying, "push harder! That wasn't even that painful. I can take it." But I did see how stubborn her little head was and didn't want to put her in danger.

They then monitored me and the baby for a couple more hours and then we were good to go. I've since been trying EVERYTHING under the sun to get baby to move. The OB scheduled a csection for me on August 9th. It was while I was kinda loopy so I didn't think about it until after, but that's the day Caitlin gets home from her mission! I'm hoping to turn the baby before then and have an appointment with a chiropractor on Monday. I'm doing a bunch of exercises and a lot of upside-down stuff lol and just praying that this baby will turn!

Birthday Cheer

7/10/16

What an awesome weekend! On Friday I turned 29 and got SUPER spoiled! 

I woke up to the smell of a yummy omlet breakfast. And even got to sleep a little longer cuz Chris got Mae out of bed and eating breakfast. 

That day Mae and I went to the Drs. Where everything was again looking normal and she told me no more traveling! Which frankly, I was hoping she'd say because Chris has been wanting to go to the McCleve reunion at the end of July and I really don't want to travel or sleep in a tent when I'm 38 weeks pregnant. Chris thought for sure that I had persuaded her. So I had to convince him that it really was all her! I didn't have any sway on the advice she gave me. So yay! I can sleep in my comfy bed til baby comes!

That afternoon Mae and I also went shopping and found an awesome sale at Old Navy and Carters. So ironically enough, I found myself spending some money on Mae for MY birthday! But she's really been needing some new clothes seeing as most of them are 18 month size and she really is almost in 3T. 😯

That night Chris made subs for dinner. (I said I wanted something cool and refreshing--it's been over 100 recently and it's just too hot for any warm food!) Then he made some brownies which was probably the best entertainment I've had in a while. He put candles in while the brownies were still hot and then tried to light the candles as they were slowly melting into the brownies. I laughed so hard! Luckily there weren't 29 candles or we really would have had a big pile of wax!

We watched a movies at home together that night and then went to a play on Saturday. It was West Side Story at the Hale Center Theatre. And it was pretty good! Some amazing singers and fairly good actors ;) I will say that I didn't get up to give a standing ovation although many people did. I guess it's one of my pet peeves. I don't give a standing ovation unless the show is SO GOOD that I just can't stay in my seat any more. I feel like a lot of people just follow the crowd when they give a standing ovation. Standing ovations shouldn't be given out like candy! Don't they know!? Lol

Chris was so sweet on my birthday, and this weekend in general. He not only got me CHACOS!!!!! But he also got me a dozen roses, chocolate, some clothes (that are still on their way--and not maternity clothes so that I actually have something to cute to wear after baby comes), AND a check for $250 to go towards a road bike...eventually. I couldn't believe how much he did for me!! He said it was because I don't often get spoiled and he really wanted to make me feel special. I sure did!!