Today Chris stayed home from work because he wasn't feeling well. I didn't want him to feel like he needed to help with anything so I tried to just do everything like normal. He was still so awesome and did a couple things around the house and helped with Mae as I sorted through our spare room.
Speaking of our spare room, I was sifting through our boxes, trying to narrow down what we have. And I came across a bunch of old work from college. And even looking at old organic chemistry books made me miss it! I miss the learning and the environment. I miss feeling like I was smart and that when I had a goal in mind I worked hard to accomplish it.
Needless to say, it made me want to do better at seeking secular learning again. I've had a hard time adjusting to becoming a mom this past year, but this past week or so was especially emotional because now I am struggling with being a mom by myself. I don't have the awesome support system I had in Provo. My family was close. I had friends in and out the ward that were experiencing new motherhood as well. I know that I'll get through it. I will make good friends here and I will find good support. I'm just wanting it NOW (even though I know these things take time).
Chris has tried to understand. I have a lot of nights where I just break down and I feel bad for the poor guy because he has to deal with me. And he's so sweet and tries to help me make goals and feel better.
I really just need to be patient. I need to try my best to get involved, but realize that I won't be teaching fitness classes tomorrow, nor will I have a best friend that does play dates and lunch dates every day with me.
So...I'm learning. Still getting frustrated and even a little depressed sometimes. But the Lord blesses me and I am able to get out of it more often than not.
On the good side of things...we finally finished the kitchen (except the transition strips). And we are down to just the spare room---as far as unpacking or reorganizing goes. I hope one day I can say I like where everything is, it's tidy and organized and we've kept our garage free of junk!
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