Today I just want to write a little bit about the help I received today. Recently, I've noticed that I have a pattern of getting frustrated with Mae and not being the nicest or best parent with her. I had some time to reflect on this yesterday and realized how silly I'm being. She's just a baby still and really doesn't fully know how to express herself.
I don't know if I knelt and said a prayer, but it's been on my mind a lot today. And I have had the determination to be better. To be a patient and loving mother--asking for the Lord to help me in this weakness. And I really feel like He did today! She was grumpy and it wasn't any more fun than her grumpiness is any other day, but I felt an added awareness to my attitude and to her needs. She wasn't any more of any angel, but I certainly was more patient with her. I felt more calm, even though I also was very exhausted at the end of the day. Instead of getting frustrated when she didn't want to get in her pajamas or have her diaper changed, I just let her know what needed to be done and tried different ways to distract her.
I know it may not seem like a big thing. And really...it wasn't big, but it sure made me feel a lot better about myself and my standing before the Lord. Instead of guilt, I felt peace. And instead of anger and frustration for all that I have to "go through" I just felt calm.
I know that this came from God and am so grateful for His kindness and mercy and especially His forgiveness and the opportunity to become better.
I hope I can keep this mindset of turning to the Lord and asking His help, because it makes all the difference. :)
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